People say this all the time. I didn't personally believe this before. I was a firm believer that the days of your childhood are the best you ever live. No complications, no responsiblities, no fear, everyone loves you, everyone cares for you, everyday is something new.
But the real test always lies ahead(I have realised this in due course). We as humans always try seek freedom from everthing. Freedom from all the things we have to do and just be FREE. But at the same time we also want to show everyone who the leader is(not necessarily you.....some have the knack of keeping themselves dragged on to others).Freedom is always how we percieve it. The real leader in his sense(my perception.....inspiration from Lance Armstrong) is the one who gets himself accustomed to his job, his duty, his family, his home, his responsiblities and performs a daily cycle full to his satisfaction(so as to be free from rest of the world) called LIFE.
Ya, I know enough of the philosophy. But this is the reason why it is best to be nineteen. Till I was 18 all I knew was that I was FREE to do anything, unaware of what lies ahead. I felt I was the leader always. I was speeding on the freeway uphill. But the moment I turned 19, I saw a hairpin bend ahead of me. I was confused what to do and I wouldn't be honest if I say I wasn't scared. Let's see what happened........................
It was January 2008 and the exam season was approaching. The 2 years before this were the most casual years I had spent. Not aware of what I had done, not aware of what I was doing and not at all aware of what to do. I had not at all prepared for the oncoming H.S.C. exams, neglected them till the very end. What to do?????? Parents were pleading me to atleast score a respectable score. I always wondered, how much did people respect me anyway??? I was nothing at all to be respected even a bit. Last Minute Revision. The last resort. What else could I do? I kept studying all day long(not to forget the nights), counting the days left for the exam. "Why doesn't this end?"
"Why do I have to study this again and again?"
"Haven't I done this before?"
"When will I be FREE from this?"
I kept asking these questions in the back of my mind. Absolutely in no time the exams arrived(60 days is actually a very long time but these flew away like 60 hrs). I appeared for the exams like I had appeared for many such before. I wrote them with some confidence but not upto the mark(never realised that mark anyway). Soon the exams were over as quickly as they had arrived. All my friends had a relatively good time writing the papers. I thought what a relief. But realised that another big season of exams was due soon. IIT entrance, AIEEE entrance, BITSAT, CET, the barriers every aspiring engineer in India has to face to secure his or her future.
The same routine started. Parents pleading and me studying all day long(again not to forget the nights).
"Why doesn't this end?"
"Why do I have to study this again and again?"
"Haven't I done this before just 2 months back?"
"When will I be FREE from this?"
The CET exam was relatively good compared with JEE or AIEEE. No suprise there as I had prepared well for CET only. Finally I felt FREE. No more exams I thought. Enough of those equations which complicated my life. I had again 60 days ahead of me. This time they were days of freedom according to me. All to enjoy and nothing to worry. But only 60 days of freedom????
Is that all???? I asked to myself. I want it all my life.
But these 60 days felt like 60 years. Nothing to worry. Why would I worry? What did I have in hand to do to worry myself? I asked myself again. Is this the freedom I seek? Is this what it is going to set me as a leader?
This wasn't my life though I knew it was a part of it. I kept thinking(people say that I think too much, I agree). A few days later my results will be out. I will seek admission in a college accordingly. Again the cycle will start. Termworks, journals, classes, exams and the list goes on.......... Sometime after that I'll get myself a job(hopefully), get married(again hopefull) and then again the same routine.
"When is this all going to end?"
"When will I be FREE?"
I kept asking myself. Suddenly the thoughts in my mind changed(see I said I think too much).
"Why do I wan't to be FREE?"
"What will I do when I will be FREE?"
"Wasn't I FREE now after the exams?"
"What did I do when I thought I was FREE?"
"Is this what I really meant when I said that I want to be FREE?"
And there it was. The hairpin bend. I was cruising all way long and suddenly I saw it there. What was I supposed to do??? Keep cruising or stop there. I had no idea what lied ahead of that bend. The only sensible thing to do was to slow down. And yes, I did slow down(I can think sensibly sometimes).
I thought again to myself that I do realise that my routine is not going to leave me. Even if I leave it I have nothing much left to do then. If I'm not FREE then it meant that I was locked up. But who has locked me up? I still can do anything I want to do. I realised that it is I who decide what my routine is going to be and I do make my own decisions. I'm am FREE.
My perception had changed now. I now believed that I was FREE. But then why did I want to get rid of my routine? I realised that is all I have. That is what everyone has. I realised that this is LIFE. My LIFE. This is what I always wanted. To live a LIFE of my own. And everyone has one.
But then how would I be the leader in LIFE? What do I have to do to become a leader? All I knew was, to become a leader, I had to lead my LIFE successfully and become satisfied. How would I do that? I had realised what my LIFE was, the routine as I have described. How to make it successfull so that I became satisfied? I realised that my LIFE would be successfull only if I realised my duties and my responsiblities and fulfilled them. Again why should I do that? Simple. The purpose of leading your FREE LIFE.
There I went past the hairpin bend(though not easy as it must have sounded but I did it). The road ahead was straight and I was FREE to cruise again. Then what is the diffrence? Wasn't cruising before too?? What importance did that bend have?
Yes, I was cruising before too. But I did not know why I was cruising. I did not know what lied ahead and I had no real purpose of cruising away. But as I took the hairpin bend I realised that this is my LIFE and I embraced it. I could easily see what lied ahead and the biggest factor, I had my purpose to keep cruising on. I had to live my LIFE.
As I see at myself now, I find myself more responsible and more willing to fulfill my duties. I realised that I had tried to run away from them before, but I was doing nothing else than running away from my own LIFE. I love being the way I'm now and I love my LIFE.
And the bend????? That was my year no. 19. Yes, that's what it was. The road I was cruising was my LIFE and the bend was a part of it. It changed me completely. It made me a better person(which is what i truly believe) and that is why now I believe "IT'S BEST TO BE 19."
You must be thinking I read all the way down to read this crap. But let me tell you this bend will come in your life too. So don't worry when you encounter it. It will transform you for good as it transformed me. LIFE seems perfect at 19. How can I say that? Am I not just 19 to say that? Maybe I'm too young to say it. But I know what my LIFE and how my LIFE will be ahead. It does not matter to me whether it is going to be good or bad. I have accepted my LIFE and I'm FREE to lead it the way I want. What else can be more perfect???????
In the past one year I have been through many ups and downs. Physically, mentally and emotionally. But I had seen them coming and realised my responsiblities during those ups and downs. As I fulfilled them, I become more satisfied than I ever was. Today I stand not alone but with numerous friends I can trust and who trust me. Results don't matter to me but I love working hard for them to be good. And I'm happy the way I am. Would you now not believe me if I said I am satisfied?(if no then read again dear)
LIFE is happening now. It's just been a year but it's going to be the same all way long!!!!!!!!!!
